My Love Of Utility Players

The love that I have always had for players who play multiple positions and are generally white is something i have never been able to explain to myself or others.

So, with that in mind, I am going to take a look back at my favourite utility players for the Jays since 2000.

Chris Woodward
Woodward started out as a utility guy in 1999, and eventually moved into the starting SS role, with some pretty good results in 2002. I liked his ears and his whiteness the most. Most recently, Woodward was seen getting some playing time for the Mariners and Red Sox in 2009. He signed a Minor League deal with the Mariners this off-season and will try to prove he is worth a roster spot.
In 2004, Woodward appeared on Degrassi: The Next Generation.


Jeff Frye
I can actually come up with a legit reason why I like Frye. See, in Ken Griffey Jr. baseball for the N64, Frye had a swing circle that was bigger than some of my favourite players (Shawn Green & Carlos Delgado) and was always available either in free agency or really late in fantasy drafts. This made him seem valuable to me and he always ended up splitting second base with Domingo Cedeno. Anyways, I believe Jeff is still the most recent Blue Jay to hit for the cycle, and for that, I thank him. I miss you Jeff. He hasn't played in the Majors since 2001, and I assume he is currently dead.
According to Wikipedia (who are never wrong), Jeff wore a facemask in a game on August 3, 2001 (in the SkyDome) because of an aphid outbreak, Awesome. Also, he is currently an agent (not dead) and represents Ian Kinsler.

Dave Berg
Berg played for the Jays from 2002-2004 and was quite unremarkable. Looking at his stats, I am shocked he was such shit. According to Wikipedia, his life was pretty meaningless as well. Oh well, your heart will live on Dave.

Joey "Whoa" Lawrence
I think I can narrow down what I liked about little Joey. It definately wasn't his ablity to hit a baseball. I think he might actually be dead.

Howie Clark
I think Howie was the frist utility player that I actually liked because of his contributions on the field. It didn't hurt that he was white, though. Playing for the Jays in parts of 3 seasons, Howie won my heart with his hustle and his slap hitting ability. After his initial Jays season, he came back to earth and started to suck again and all was right in the world.
Perhaps best known for the "mine" incident of May 2007, Howie allowed "Gay-Rod" to distract him and a pop-up fell in gently between him and John MacDonald. A-Rod went on to become of the greates players of all time, and Howie kissed the end of a shot-gun. R.I.P.
Howie was also named in the Mitchell report in 2007 as a steroid user, proving once and for all that steroids don't do shit unless your Mark McGwire, Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, or Alex Rodriguez.
He is currently back with the Jays organization on a Minor League deal, after putting up some great numbers in 2009 for Las Vegas.

Russ Adams
I always liked Russ. He is a different story than every other white guy on this list. He was a top prospect, and came up as a starter. He hit well in his rookie season and I thought the answer to the long-term SS position was right in front of me. Little did I know that Chuck Knoblaugh's demonization would come into play. Something happened to Russ that caused most of his throws to be "Hinsked" over the first baseman. The Jays moved him to 2B and the same thing occured. He tryed 3B and guess what? He still sucked. Now an OF and occasional IF, Adams is a full fledged AAA utility player.
Russ is currently in the Mets system trying to win a back-up job.

Simon Pond
My love for Simon Pond was due to his Nationality. I love Canadians, because I am one. His 56 plate appearances in the Majors and 5256 in the Minors make him a Minor League Hall of Shamer. He played for the 2004 Canada Olympic team, which I learned he exsisted.

"The Prme Minister of Defense" John McDonald
Since 2005, no other professional athlete has done as much as John McDonald to stand out from the crowd. His flashy defense and huge contributions with the bat make McDonald one the best SS in Major League history. What, that isn't true? Am I confusing him with Hanley Ramirez? or just making things up? I can't tell.
Anyway, McDonald has become a bit of a local icon with his tremendous defense and humble attitude. I will avoid speaking of his offense, though. Trust, it's better if you don't know anything about it.
McDonald is one of a few players to be traded for himself. The Jays traded him to the Tigers for "cash" and then the Tigers sent him back to the Jays for "cash." He was actually named most popular Blue jay (yes, ahead of Doc) by Rogers Sportsnet viewers in 2007. I am not ashamed to say, I Heart Johnny Mac.

Joe Inglett
Inglett was a player that I liked before Toronto, following him in his brief Cleveland career. Much to my delight, the Jays acquired him off waivers in 2007 and thrust him onto the roster. Joe went 3-5 in his brief Toronto debut and was fully on my radar as a new utilityman-crush. Joe used 2008 to come onto the scene after Aaron Hill's concusion and put up some impressive numbers. Hitting .297 with a .355 OBP Joe was quickly rising past utility man status and, in my mind, earning himself a key role with the Jays for 2009. Much to my anger and disappointment, Joe was used like a yo-yo in 2009 and optioned up and down from Toronto to Las Vegas, despite hitting pretty well in both places.
Due to his up and own trips and certain timing of injuries allowing him to do so, he earned the nickname "Voodoo" Joe in 2008.
Joe will be missed dearly by me, as he was claimed of waivers by the Rangers, then by the Brewers. He will have a good shot to make the Brewers roster and could recieve ample playing time if Rickie Weeks struggles or gets hurt again. My fingers are crossed, Joe.

Well, that is my list. Some players currently plowing away for the Jays Minor League affiliates that have my eye are:

Mike McCoy
Jarrett Hoffpauir (same first name, instant boner)
Scott Campbell (from New Zealand. Exotic)
Brad Emaus