Update!!!

It has been over a week since my last post. Just general apathy towards the typical Spring Training bull-shit.

A look around at legitimate blogs tells a similar story, but some great stuff is being written to keep me entertained.

The Drunks shit all over Griffin, again. Grif has been pretty decent this so far this year, but it looks it might be time to shit the bed.

The Tao makes me piss myself with the Millar, Rios, and Overbay "conversation". Awesome.

Batters Box takes an organizational trip through each position. I love that kind of stuff. Keep it up (although I think they are almost done).

Minor League Ball takes a look at recent Short Stop prospects, mentioning THE Alex Gonzalez and Aaron Hill. No Russ Adams sighting. Yet.

I made a promise to a co-worker yesterday that I would try to make a rape/paedophile joke in every post, so here it goes.

A guy comes home to see his girlfriend all packed up sitting on the front step. He asks "What are you going?" She replies "I heard you were a paedophile." He says "that is a pretty big word for a 10-year-old."

And since I probably won't keep up the deal, I will throw a couple of my favourites down.

How do you make a baby cry? Wipe your bloody cock on his favourite teddy bear.

What is the best thing about fucking a 5-year-old? Feeling his pelvis crack.


I enjoyed that.

Crunching Some Early Numbers

Looking at the roster and non-roster names in the fold for jobs this season, I am wondering a few things to myself.

1. What role does Jose Bautista serve and why the fuck did the Jays not non-tender his silly ass?

2. Where are all these relievers going to fit?

A couple quick answers that I have come up with:

Bautista is worthless if Millar makes the team because Millar takes the at-bats against lefties and Inglett is a better hitter (although he has very little power).

There are too many relievers for the 7 spots. The Jays need to drop at least 2 of these guys.

So let us crunch the roster.

The starting catcher is Rod Barajas, with a bunch of guys fighting it our for the back-up job. The most likely is Mike Barrett, MLB vet who used to be a good offensive catcher. I hope Jeroloman is the back-up. His defense and patience could be more beneficial than Barrett's offense.

The 1B is Overbay.

At 2B will be a hopefully healthy Aaron Hill.

Scott Rolen (if healthy) will be the 3B.

Marco Scutaro & John McDonald are the shortstops.

The OF will consist of Alex Rios & Vernon Wells. It will also likely include Travis Snider, with Adam Lind at DH.

If the Jays go with 12 pitchers, that leaves 4 bench spots available. 1 will go to the back-up catcher and 1 to the other SS. That leaves 2 spots for Kevin Millar, Jose Bautista, Joe Inglett, Jason Lane, Brandon Fahey, Buck Coates, and maybe Russ Adams.

The 2 in the lead are Inglett & Bautista (mostly based on last season). I would want Millar on the team, as he provides a better all-around hitter if Snider faulters. But as we saw last year with the Stewart vs Johnson decision, maybe the better platoon option is the right choice. That would mean Bautista.

I would actually prefer an 11 pitcher staff, but that gets tricky due to the lack of starting pitching depth with guaranteed stamina.

So let's break down the options for arms.

Halladay & Litsch are the locks for the rotation. Assuming that B.J. Ryan, Downs, Carlson, Tallet, Frasor, Camp, and League are bullpen guys. That is 7 guys right there, so it will be really hard to penetrate this staff in the spring. I would like to see Frasor (I like the guy as a pitcher, but the team has no confidence in him and he could fetch something decent) and Tallet get dealt, but I'm not making any deals.

With 3 available rotation spots, the arms I see in the race are David Purcey, Casey Janssen, Scott Richmond, Brian Wolfe, Matt Clement, Brett Cecil, Mike Maroth, Brian Burres, and Ken Takahashi. One of these spots is not permenant, as McGowan will be back after a couple months. I see Purcey, Richmond, and Clement making the staff (based on the idea that Janssen will need a bit of recovery time in AAA).

If some deals can be swung to get down to 11 pitchers, that would allow the Jays to carry Millar and Bautista, making them better against the big lefties in the division.

This is going to be an exciting spring.

A Little Insight Into Myself, Courtesy A Look At A Recent MSN Convo

From beginning to end, this is a real MSN conversation I just finished having. I just needed a place to store this so that I could remember this for the rest of my life, which is now richer.

Jason - rmg - A-Roids gave Alomar AIDS to take the heat off. Calling it. says:
Ok, wait, WHAT? he was raped when he was 17 by two dudes in Mexico?
*BEEZER* says:
what???
thats his story
Jason - rmg - A-Roids gave Alomar AIDS to take the heat off. Calling it. says:
i shit you not
*BEEZER* says:
i think it deserves a "this is awesome" chant
Jason - rmg - A-Roids gave Alomar AIDS to take the heat off. Calling it. says:
i was thinking the same thing
*BEEZER* says:
i have a ridiculous smile on my face right now
Jason - rmg - A-Roids gave Alomar AIDS to take the heat off. Calling it. says:
hahaha
they had me at "full blown AIDS"
*BEEZER* says:
the only thing i can think of, is Robby (in his awesome broken english) telling people he is not positive, he is HIV positive...cartman style
Jason - rmg - A-Roids gave Alomar AIDS to take the heat off. Calling it. says:
i would die
*BEEZER* says:
u have a link to the rape thing...cuz i think i need to read it
Jason - rmg - A-Roids gave Alomar AIDS to take the heat off. Calling it. says:
http://www.waitingfornextyear.com/?p=7710
"In April 2005, Alomar told Dall he was suffering from erectile dysfunction and confided "he was raped by two Mexican men after playing a ballgame in New Mexico "
*BEEZER* says:
that is the greatest thing i have ever read
and it couldnt have happened to a more deserving guy
Jason - rmg - A-Roids gave Alomar AIDS to take the heat off. Calling it. says:
hahaha
*BEEZER* says:
i didnt know your skin turned purple when you have AIDS
Jason - rmg - A-Roids gave Alomar AIDS to take the heat off. Calling it. says:
probably pnemonia, that's the go to disease when you get AIDS
it's ironic that a man who made fun of a kid dying of a critical illness, would he himself, die of a critical illness
*BEEZER* says:
that is the greatest real life irony ever
it makes his accomplishment more impressive, if he did everything he did with the AIDS
is there an AIDS equivilency stat
Jason - rmg - A-Roids gave Alomar AIDS to take the heat off. Calling it. says:
hahahahahahaha
*BEEZER* says:
like multiply all his counting stats by pi
Jason - rmg - A-Roids gave Alomar AIDS to take the heat off. Calling it. says:
if there isn't. that should be it
it's certainly not helping the "all the Mets are gay" rumours
*BEEZER* says:
its official...this is going in my blog
if they were, they better get to the fuckin clinic
Jason - rmg - A-Roids gave Alomar AIDS to take the heat off. Calling it. says:
hahaha
*BEEZER* says:
one of the sommenters pointed out his marriage to tennis player Mary Pierce and her collapse from the tennis landscape. AIDS
Jason - rmg - A-Roids gave Alomar AIDS to take the heat off. Calling it. says:
don't blow your load man, we've got a long road ahead of us
*BEEZER* says:
im just gitty
i wanna explore all my avenues
i might make an excell sheet with possible jokes for any possible information that comes out...because at this point, nothing would shock me
Jason - rmg - A-Roids gave Alomar AIDS to take the heat off. Calling it. says:
hahaha
I'm just kinda glad he's a fruit and it wasn't from sharing needles
that's the last thing MLB would need
*BEEZER* says:
that would've been way better
"Considered one of baseball’s greatest second basemen, Alomar stirred controversy in 1996 by spitting in the face of umpire John Hirschbeck.
The incident prompted fellow ump Al Clark to say, "If I were John, I’d insist that Robbie Alomar take an AIDS test.""

that is my favourite passage
Jason - rmg - A-Roids gave Alomar AIDS to take the heat off. Calling it. says:
did that really happen?
don't tease me
*BEEZER* says:
its in an article
Jason - rmg - A-Roids gave Alomar AIDS to take the heat off. Calling it. says:
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*BEEZER* says:
New York Daily news...not even a blog
http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/02/10/2009-02-10_15m_lawsuit_claims_exmet_roberto_alomar_.html
last 4 paragraphs
"AIDS does not discriminate" some commenters are awesome
Jason - rmg - A-Roids gave Alomar AIDS to take the heat off. Calling it. says:
"AIDS phobia"
in all fairness, don't we all have that?
*BEEZER* says:
i'm pretty sure i have a very healthy fear of AIDS
Jason - rmg - A-Roids gave Alomar AIDS to take the heat off. Calling it. says:
I know I do
*BEEZER* says:
so i guess the big lesson here: when you get raped my mexican men, make them wear a condom
Jason - rmg - A-Roids gave Alomar AIDS to take the heat off. Calling it. says:
it's a shame t-shirt hell is out of business
i could see some potential buys from this
*BEEZER* says:
they should re-open just for some Alomar shirts and some obvious A-Roiders
http://www.yankees2000.com/y2k/uploaded_images/shawn-green-ud-745695.jpg
after a quick google search, this is how robbie looks today
Jason - rmg - A-Roids gave Alomar AIDS to take the heat off. Calling it. says:
maybe size wize from teh AIDS, but I don't think he turned white..
*BEEZER* says:
you never know
AIDS is magic
look at Tom Hanks in Philidelphia, he looked like a ghost
he went from a glorious tan gay man to a gholish creature of the night
Jason - rmg - A-Roids gave Alomar AIDS to take the heat off. Calling it. says:
well I'm convinced
*BEEZER* says:
thank you
i have just sent the report to UWO hospital...it should be in the next medical book
Jason - rmg - A-Roids gave Alomar AIDS to take the heat off. Calling it. says:
it could be a key in finding a cure
*BEEZER* says:
they have to start somewher

A Weeks Worth Of News

The big news that came out this past week was the A-Rod shit. I just can't seem to give a fuck. I tried to care, but just couldn't find a part of me that cares who used what when it wasn't against the rules.

Some news coming out today... Roberto Alomar has full-blown AIDS. And I am HIV positive that he is being sued by his ex-girlfriend for having unprotected sex. I hope he had AIDS when he spit in that dirty ump's face. (Thanks to MLB Trade Rumors for the news and Cartman for the joke)

The Jays aquired 1.5 pitchers this week, while D'ingFA little Russy Adams and Dirk Hayhurst. The full pitcher they acquired was T.J. Beam, a shit-baller from the pirates. The half pitcher, and full douchebag, is Matt "Fuckin" Bush. The former #1 overall pick (as a SS) couldn't hit worth a shit, so with a 95 MPH heater in tow, took to the mound. Only to blow out his elbow.

WILKERSON Sighting and JAYS NEWS!!!!!

YES!!!! Now I have yet another reason to hate the Red Sox.

I know this is a week or so old news, but I just cannot muster up the energy to post about Brad Wilkerson's minor league signing. Congrats Pawtucket, you have one hell of a douchebag on your hands.

And speaking of douchebags, the Jays seem to be closing in on signing Kevin Millar. If I have to hear the phrase "Cowboy Up" on a constant basis, I will most definately be sharpening my long distant shooting. I don't want to confess to too much, but if Kevin Millar shows up dead in the streets, it was probably me. But he could be a good platoon option for Lind at DH.

Also in the new, Jayswise, is the acquisition of lefty shitballer Brian Burres. Burres should see plenty of time in Vegas, as he is probably 5th on the lefty depth chart behind the Beej, DownsYndrome, Carlson, Wolverine, and myself.

Curtis Thigpen was designated to make room. Meh. Someone will probably claim him and he will go on to have a long and unproductive career.