What The Fucking Fuck Cito?

Why? Pinch running for Adam Lind is fine, as long as it's John McDonald or maybe even Jose Bautista. But, Travis Snider? One, I would bet money that Lind is a faster runner. Two, now your BEST hitter is no longer able to pinch hit. Three, Jose Bautista is not a good OF, so pinch running your only bench OF that day for your DH is fucking stupid.

Now, I love Cito as much as the next guy and have been known to verbally shine his knob a time or two, but c'mon you old fuck. Why even have McDonald if you are not going to use 1 of his 2 skills.

And BJ Ryan? What can I say about BJ that hasn't allready been said about Afganastan? He looked bombed and depleted. (Yeah, that's right, a Chappelle show quote. Wanna fight about it?). Nice start to the inning dick face. You hit a lefty and walk the next prick. Nice. Your lucky Hill bailed your ass out with an error or all 3 runs would be ER, not just 1. Fuck you BJ.

And then Millar's tubby ass hits into a DP. Fuck. I think I'm gonna slit my wrists.

And now Frasor will come and and give up a HR just to fuck his scoreless season.

But how about Rios? 4-5? Nails. And how good has he been with runners in scoring position? Nice. I'm not one to believe in the clutchiness of players (well, unless it makes certain players look better), but Rios has actually hit will well in big situations so far these year even though he chokes on his own meat most other times.

And Rowdy Rod? Two 2-run bombs from the other shitty hitter so far this year? Tits.

Purcey only walked 2 Rangers as well, so that's a plus. But thanks to BJ Ryan he doesn't get his win. Again, fuck you BJ Ryan.

I'm waiting for the game to end before I actually post this, so essentially what I'm writing are my random thoughts from the moment Ryan got shelled by Young. This isn't going to be one of my proudest moments in hindsight.

So, Frasor & Camp haven't given up a run yet? How is that possible? I thought they were the 2 biggest shitbags in the pen, and now they are pitching like bullpen Halladays. Weird.

Fuck you Jamie Campbell. You know damn well they aren't the Devil Rays anymore. Stop appologizing for your incompetance and blow your fucking head off allready. Take Mullinicks with you.

Mullinicks is like the announcer from Major League, who never says a fucking word, only to have to replace Harry Doyle when he passes out. There was a 15 minute stretch where he didn't say a single fucking word, which left Campbell to pollute my ears with his nonsence.

I like that soccer commecrial where he skeet shoots. I wonder how many tries he got. And I wonder if I could hit a skeet with my spunk. I also think that was just an excuse to make a cum joke while I wait for the pitching change after Willie Eyre pussied out of the game so Barajas didn't jack him off in the left field stands. That sounded dirty.

That's smart Rod, argue balls and strikes when you have to squat in front of the same prick next inning. Nice decision dick face.

If Rios wins it here, he is definately having a 3-way tonight.

Rios sucks. No 3-way of celebration. But he will probably have a 3-way anyway, you know, because he is Alex Rios.

This is pretty awesome. Darren O'Day shows up in Toronto after being acquired of waivers late in the game. He warms up and comes into the game wearing someone else's jersey. Yep. Darren O'Day is wearing Kasson Gabbard's jersey. I didn't even know that was legal. If it is, it's barely legal. I hope Gabbard gets the runs when Millar hits Windows resaurant.

SNAP!!!!!11111!!!!

Kevin Millar is my hero. I think I called him a tubby fuck earlier, but he is my hero right now. FUCKIING PLAYOFFS!!!!111