The Real Roberto Alomar

So, after re-reading a fantastic MSN conversation with my good friend Rusticle M Garnagle, I have decided to convert all of Robbie Alomar's stats using my patented "AIDS Equivilancy Certification" translator. And after choosing a very "AIDSy" picture of Robbie, I am all set to go.

Since Robbie aquired the AIDS when he was 17, his whole career gets the treatment, so lets go.

Using Pi (3.14 to be more precise for ease) to multiply half his counting stats, we will see where Robbie truely ranks among the all-time greats.

Now, I cannot assume that he would attempt more SB, but I can assume that he would not have been thrown out trying as much. So to take that into account, 10% of his caught stealing attempts have been converted into stolen bases. Actually, make that 24%, to account for the seriousness of his disease.

Looking over my results so far, I have come to the conclusion that altering his AB and PA keep his rate stats the same, which would obviously be higher if he didn't have AIDS.

So, I must now keep his PA & AB, along with sacrifices (because, Alomar would have bunted less if he didn't have to worry about Super AIDS).

That's better.

So, now Alomar's career line looks something like this:

2368 Runs Scored (Ranking 1st all-time)

4277 Hits (1st all-time)

791 2B (2nd all-time, by 1)

126 3B (87th all-time)

330 HR (2nd behind Jeff Kent for most be a 2nd Baseman)

1780 RsBI (18th all-time)

502 SB (37th all-time)

1620 BB (1oth all-time)

.471 BA (1st all-time by .105)

.549 OBP (1st all-time)

.695 SLG (1st all-time)

1.244 OPS (1st all-time)

6308 Total Bases (2nd all-time)

Ok, so obviously these stats are a little off. Maybe my system needs some tinkering. Or maybe it doesn't? Who knows the true impact AIDS had on the career of Robbie. Could he have played longer? Which would meen more hits, HR, 2B, etc. What about steroids? He couldv'e tacked on another 300 HR easily with roids. Maybe I should factor in that? Of naybe this is just a lame excuse to make fun of an asshole with AIDS? Probably.

Either way, I am still going to try to pound out a proper equivilancy for the AIDS infested and maybe even a steroid eliminator/insertion equation. Stay tuned.